Fairytale Feet

Cinderella has long since set the standard to which all ladies must aspire, so how did our heroine manage to retain such tantalizing tootsies while traipsing about doing the chores?

Did she sit by the fire each evening, gently massaging rose oil into her heels after a hard day’s work? Did she paint her nails a delicate shade of pink? Did she line those glass slippers with squirrel fur, because we all know that they would cause us lesser mortals sweaty feet.

And how can we compete with such a fascinating fairytale of her fabulous phalanges?

We can decorate them, we can buff them, we can cover them with cream, making sure that when that perfect moment comes, and our very own Prince Charming slips off our shoe, we can point a pretty toe for his ultimate delectation.

And romance readers already know that no hero ever lifted a well turned ankle to run his tongue along an intriguing instep, and stopped mid lick to grab a disinfectant wipe. Neither did he suddenly gag and yell ‘Phwarrr, Gorgonzola!’ He never leapt back in horror at the sight of a verruca, a hairy big toe, or of bulging blisters caused by the five inch high heels he loves her wearing so much. And this is all without considering that our heroine never had size nines, flat feet, or fungating nails.

But it is not only we writers who promote the myth of the perfect pedicure. Did you ever see an Aphrodite sporting corns? Did Botticelli adorn Venus with bunions? Or did Diana ever hunt with hammer toes? No, we shake our heads sadly. Immortals cannot possibly be so human.

So what inspired today’s troublesome thoughts?

Yes, you guessed it. My latest hero’s fixation with his heroine’s feet, but I am not letting him get away with criticising her for her callus’. Oh no! His man-pedi must pass muster too! No chilblains, gout, or crusty cuticles, thank you! Our hero must walk, not only on water, but on a strong arch, a high instep, with size proportionate to his height, long tendons, soft skin, and deliciously flexible toes.

A tall order? Perhaps. But it all comes back to those fairytale feet.

SCARRED PERCEPTIONS (Scarred 7) coming soon.

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